my vices - WRATH

so i was laying in bed last night and decided i wanted to make my blogs really personal...a way for me to express myself and maybe even learn a few things in the process...
i have always been the type of person to express myself openly (sometimes even too much, maybe), so why should my blogs be any different?
my first blog is about what i feel to be my biggest problem as a human being, and i will get to all of the big seven in the order i believe they are relevant to my current life...i probably would have put them in a different order a few years ago...but i will get to that in another blog
so...my biggest sin is currently WRATH
i have anger management issues. period. in fact, i have anger management issues! exclamation point!
i don't think i want to go into WHY i have such pent up rage just yet...i think if i knew that exactly, i might have better control over those nasty emotions.
all i know for sure is that it these feelings are STRONG and they are HORRIBLE and i wish that i could pull them out of myself and stomp the shit out of them!
i have two little kids and a loving husband who have to witness my outbursts and are confused by them because they know i love them and yet they see me being a crazy person. i scare MYSELF when the boogie man comes out of me, so i can only imagine what it must be like for them.
i am constantly struggling with some demons (fucking bastards!) and i do actually win some battles...but sometimes i feel like i'm losing...BADLY...the war.
here is the wikipedia explanation of 'Wrath...also known as anger or "rage", may be described as inordinate (excessive) and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial.'
it also stated that..'In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally rather than externally. Thus suicide was deemed as the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts.'
so...vehement denial of the truth? that is what i need to get at...the truth.
i promise that is all that you will get in my blogs...i will bring this subject up again in my search for that truth.
all i know right now is that i am willing to change and i am ready to be a better person.
love will get me through. amen.